InsaneJournal

June 13, 2008

*”This is to invite James J Ellison to the New South Wales Awards ceremony, to be held June 15^th, 2008 in Canberra. RSVP...”*

It had arrived a week prior. Jim had been unprepared, of course. It was there in his mailbox after he had returned from a long and boring case. He hadn’t really looked at it, just tossed it on his side table along with his bills and his keys. It was still there days later when he went to pay his bills. He finally opened it two days ago.

*”For acts of conspicuous courage in circumstances of extreme peril. It is with extreme pleasure...”*

To say he was surprised was an understatement. Being invited to an awards ceremony in New South Wales, Australia was not on his list of events to mark the passing time of his life. He knew no one in Australia except Conner... and Blair.

Blair Sandburg, one time friend and partner, now... a distant memory. After joining the force and wanting to become Jim’s official partner, things had gone downhill fast. The other detectives, officers, all the men and women in blue, were split into two camps: those who accepted Blair, and those who saw him as a fraud and worthless to them. After a month and a half of pushing and pulling and yelling and fighting, Blair got the chance of a lifetime.

An opening in the New South Wales Commonwealth of law enforcement office meant that Inspector Megan Conner was returning home after two years. She invited Blair to come along. Jim remembered what it had been like, the day that Megan had jokingly (and yes, he could see it now, she had not been entirely serious in her invitation to him) asked if Blair wanted to come along. See new people, do new things. Blair had looked at Jim, and Jim had shrugged his shoulders... *”Sounds like a great opportunity, Chief. You should really think about it.”* and walked away.

It was the last mistake he ever made where Blair was concerned. Megan, of course, wouldn’t leave it alone. Harping at him over and over the two weeks it took for Blair to finish his paperwork and pack his things. She yelled at him for hiding his feelings while they finished out her cases. She snarled at him for ignoring Blair’s wishes and desires while the others planned Blair’s and Megan’s going away party. She grumbled at him for setting Blair so far apart and closing himself off from his partner when the young man was feeling so alone

And finally, *finally* when it was all said and done, she kissed Jim on the cheek at the airport and made him a promise. *”I’ll watch out for him, Mate. Just call any time and let me know when you want him back.”*

Correction, *that* was his last mistake where Blair was concerned. He never called, never asked Blair to come back. Basically, he went on with his life and ignored that part of his past. Like all other parts of painful memories, he repressed it until now.

*”... would invite you to join his friends and family as he is awarded the Australian Cross of Valor.”*

Sitting in the silence that was his loft, Jim Ellison weighed his options. He could call and apologize for not coming, mutter something about the slow mail service. He could ignore it completely, never think of it, or Blair again. He could send a card that would arrive long after the fact, thus absolving him of any misconstrued rudeness in the matter.

Or he could go.

He realized, as he lay back against the couch with a beer in one hand and the invitation in the other, that he didn’t have much of a choice in these matters. The handwritten line at the bottom explained it all.

*”Be here, you daft drongo!”*

o-O-o

June 15, 2008

The flight over was a pain in the ass, neck, arms, back and head. The hotel was small and cramped. The dinner was bland and tasteless. The tie to his tuxedo was tight and irritating. All in all, it was a waste of time for him to be there. He was not going to be able to talk to Blair; there were too many people between him and his old friend. And the lights were too bright, the people were too loud, he was fighting a headache.

Excusing himself to visit the nearby men’s room, he detoured and stepped out onto the balcony to catch a bit of clean night air. The stars were bright in the cloudless sky and he stopped against the balcony railing to count them a while. He felt finally alone for the first time since arriving in Australia.

He had barely made it in time for this ceremony, and Blair’s award was one of the many given out. Jim never got a chance to see him, as when his name was called, it was with five others. Their names were mentioned and the entire assembly cheered. The actually awarding had been the day before, and Jim had missed that completely. He had yet to see either of his friends. He didn’t suspect he would this night. He was due back in Cascade on the next flight out in the morning.

Standing there in the cool night air, he wondered what he would have said to his friend, if he’d had the chance to actually talk to the man. *”Hey, Chief, looking good.”*?

How about, *”Sandburg, still getting yourself in trouble over here too?”*

No, more likely he would just come out and say, “I miss you, Blair.”

“Which Blair?” a small voice from behind him asked. Jim spun on his heel and caught sight of two pairs of bright blue eyes peering out of the ivy that hung down the walls. Canting his head to the side, he got a better look and realized he was looking at two small boys, barely 7 years each. One of them, the one with curly brown hair and a smattering of freckles across the nose, stepped forward slightly, covering the other boy, and asked again, “Which Blair do you miss?”

Jim blinked. “Hello. What’s your name?”

The first boy spoke again, “I’m Colin and this is my brother, Liam. Who are you?”

Jim smiled as he crossed over to a stone bench, settling down where he could see the doors back into the hotel. “I’m Jim. Nice to meet you, Colin. Where are your parents?”

“You ask a lot of question.” Colin replied as he shifted yet again, keeping Liam behind him at all times. Jim watched the by-play with interest. He was about to reply again when Liam plucked at Colin’s sleeve, whispering in the other boy’s ear. Colin nodded once before returning his attention to Jim. “Liam says you’re an Inspector, but not from here, yeah?”

Jim smiled at the boy’s intuitiveness. “Yes, I’m an American Detective. I’m just here in support of a friend of mine.”

Colin nodded, shifted to listen to his brother once again, and then asked, “Which Blair?”

Jim paused, oh yes that is what he had asked before. “I don’t know what you mean. Is there more than one Blair around here?”

“Well, yeah,” growled Colin. Liam tugged at his brother’s sleeve and Colin sighed. “Sorry, yeah, that was rude, huh?”

Jim shrugged. Colin ducked his head while Liam smiled at the big police man. Then Colin took a deep breath and tried again. “Well, I’m a Blair, and my brother is a Blair. Then there’s my mum, and other mum... and my Da... Only his Blair name is different than ours.”

Jim raised his hands in supplication, “Whoa, ease up there Chief.”

Liam snickered. It was actual sound from the other boy. Jim gazed at him with a smile on his face as well. “You think that name’s funny, Bud?”

Colin’s face screwed up in a scowl. “That’s our Da’s nickname. Liam thinks it’s funny, you sayin’ it at all.”

And Jim knew... in that moment he knew who this boy’s father was. Born or simply raised, that was anyone’s guess at this moment. “So, who’s your Mother?”

“Sheryl Blair, Inspector in Homicide, New South Wales. She’s Da’s partner on the force.” Colin waved back towards Liam, “His mum is Darleen Blair, Inspector in Burglary, also in New South Wales.”

Jim nodded. “So, wait, Sheryl and Darleen, both named Blair... Lovers?”

“Oi! They’s married ladies!” Colin argued. Jim grinned brightly.

“Of course they are. And some point in time, Sheryl and Blair had you.” Jim stated this as fact. Colin nodded once.

“Aye, and on the same night, Da and Darleen had Liam.” Colin finished. Jim blinked. Of course, only Sandburg. Standing abruptly Jim stretched his back before glancing back in through the doors. People were beginning to move and Jim could only imagine that the ceremony was either in intermission, or it was over. Checking his watch, he could only assume the latter.

“Boys it would appear that our time is up. We’d better get back inside before people miss you.” Jim held a hand out to each boy, and was unsurprised when they accepted them. Turning back to the doors, he led them both inside and down the corridor towards the ballroom. At the archway entrance, Jim stopped and knelt down beside them both. “Colin, I want you to take Liam back in there to your parents table.”

“You’re not coming?” asked Colin. Jim shook his head.

“A bad headache is coming on for me, son. I’ll have to leave without finding my friend.” Jim squeezed Colin’s hand and smiled. Liam shook Jim’s arm and he dutifully turned to be addressed by the quiet youngster.

“I’ll tell Da you said hello, Uncle Jim,” whispered the straight haired boy. And then he kissed Jim on the cheek and reached out to take Colin’s hand. Colin turned quickly, planted a similar kiss on Jim’s other cheek, then went back and began to shepherd his brother out to the busy ballroom. Jim watched them for a moment before standing and leaving the hotel. He took a taxi to his own hotel and climbed the few flights of stairs to enter his room where he stripped and crawled into bed. As he slipped off to sleep, a final thought entered his mind.

He wondered if Blair knew that he had fathered a Sentinel and a Guide.

o-O-o

Colin and Liam said very little to their parents when they returned to the family’s table. Their mothers were regaling their friends with highlights of Da’s more spirited adventures. Their Aunt Meggie was drinking with her boyfriend. And Da, well Da was looking rather sad.

Liam crawled into Da’s lap and snuggled nose first into the warmth of his neck. Da smiled as he opened his other arm out to Colin in invitation. Colin shook his head, he was really getting too old for such things, and came to lean against the man instead. Aunt Meggie glanced over and sighed loud enough for them all to hear.

“I’m sorry Sandy, I had hoped that Jimbo would pull his head outta his arse and show up for at least tonight.”

Colin shrugged and Liam smiled into his Da’s neck. Da pulled his head back a bit to get a look at Liam. “You know something, don’tcha Short stuff?”

Liam leaned in to whisper in Da’s ear. Da smiled and glanced over at Colin. “You got to talk to him, Col?”

Colin finally smiled, “Yeah Da. I guess I did. He said he had to go, too much noise, too many people.”

Da nodded in understanding. “At least he tried.”

Aunt Meggie snorted once before turning back to her drink. The Mums shared a wistful smile with Da before turning back to their conversations. Colin leaned into Da again and felt an arm wrap around his waist. The others might not understand Uncle Jim, but he did. And Da and Liam did, too.

And who knew, maybe there would be another chance to see the man again.

o-O-o

July 1, 2008

Colin slipped silently into his Da’s room without turning on the light. Stopping with his back against the wall, he allowed his hearing to pick up his brother’s voice speaking to him patiently from their shared bedroom. *”Right, now let your eyes adjust completely and find the desk.”*

Even though Liam couldn’t have heard Colin in a million years, his brother still seemed to know exactly where he was, what he was doing. *”Once you’ve found the desk, open the shallow drawer where the pens and pencils are kept. You’ll see Da’s address book in there.”*

Colin stole up to the desk, checking the room to verify that his father was indeed asleep, and opened the indicated drawer. Waiting a moment, he soon heard his brother once again. *”Open the book to ‘E’ and find ‘Ellison, that’s where you will find the address. Write it down on a spare sheet of paper on the notepad Da keeps on the blotter, then get out of there.”*

Colin nodded, although Liam couldn’t have seen him, found the correct address, wrote it down, put everything back as he had found it, and slipped back into the shadows. He was back in his room in moments, having not awoken any of the parents. Handing the paper off to Liam, his brother’s eyes twinkled.

“Good work, Watchman. Now we can converse with the Elder.” Liam pulled out his personal stationary, the set that he had asked for from Gamma Naomi which bore both his and his brother’s names, and began to compose his first letter.

“Dear Uncle Jim,”

o-O-o

July 16, 2008

*”Greetings from Australia!”*

Jim had been overjoyed with the letter from his ‘Nephews’ in Australia. It was rather sneaky and underhanded that they would correspond with him without their parents knowing, but Jim figured they had their reasons. And they were enough like their dad to pull off something like this.

Even more precious than the letter, were the pictures they had sent. Pictures of themselves, their mothers and ‘Da’. These now had a prominent position on the bookshelf next to the stereo with a hand drawn picture of Jim and the boys out on the balcony that Liam had drawn.

The letter had gone on to tell Jim about their family. According to Liam, Colin had been conceived and born first, but Liam had been born a mere two minutes afterwards. And Liam confirmed Jim’s belief that Colin was a Sentinel, like himself, with all five senses enhanced. His nephew also had the protective instinct that Jim had. And the boys believed that Liam was born to be Colin’s Guide.

Did Blair know? Liam never mentioned, but they said it was easy for them to help Colin control his abilities. And if Colin said something was off, none of the parents argued. Jim figured Blair was aware, and wasn’t making a big deal out of it, to keep the boys from thinking themselves freaks. He smiled to himself at the thought.

*”Do you ever have times when you stop, and you think something isn’t right, but you can’t tell what it is? I know Col does that all the time, and usually it’s when either Da or me are hurt. Col says it’s how we are connected. He says it’s stronger with him and me, not so much with Da. So, I wonder, do you feel it when Da is hurt? Even all the way over in ‘The States’?”*

Jim pondered these thoughts for a while, and then decided not to push for an answer. He knew, from working with Blair, that the senses were genetic, but the feelings, the instinct was something different. Blair would know better, but Jim wasn’t about to bring it to his attention. Blair was off having a life, Jim had his own.

But he could enjoy this small window into his friend’s world.

o-O-o

August 29, 2008

“Jim, could you come in here a moment, please?”

Jim looked up at the sound of his Captain’s calm voice, calling from his office with the door closed and the blinds shut. The Sentinel smirked as he made his way through the desks and slipped in the door. Joel looked up from his desk, and this still unsettled Jim at times when he remembered that Simon was no longer Captain of Major Crimes, and waved a hand for Jim to find a seat.

“Jim, thanks for coming in to see me,” Joel said as he shuffled papers around. Jim sat in a nearby chair and relaxed as much as his six foot two frame could in such a small space. Joel waited until it appeared the resident Sentinel was more or less comfortable before getting down to business. “In case you haven’t heard, and with those ears I’m not sure how you could have missed it, but the Mayor and Commissioner are looking for me to retire soon.”

Jim sat up, totally interested. He had heard nothing of this, though he had good excuse. He had been rather preoccupied as of late. “So, who are they looking to replace you, Joel?”

Joel smiled gently, “They want you, Jim. In fact, Simon has been calling for it ever since they made him Chief. But you turned them down and told me to take it. This time, they are sweetening the deal, offering you three new detectives to fill out the roster, giving you one hell of a pay raise and a benefits package to die for, not that you would any time soon.”

Jim blinked, realizing that his instincts were speaking to him yet again. Yes, he had made a terrible mistake letting his Guide go. But he was not going to make a mistake here. It was time for the Sentinel to step down from this duty and let the warriors take over. He would lead, as he was meant to. Being behind the desk didn’t frighten him so much anymore.

“Joel, tell Simon and the others I’m ready this time.”