InsaneJournal

September 5, 2008

Closing the door to his living space, Jim sighed and allowed his weariness to show. It had been a rough week of transition, but now Jim was finally Captain of Major Crimes. His father and brother had insisted on throwing him a party in celebration and had invited everyone in town. It had been a good night.

The biggest surprise came in the form of a letter from the boys in Australia. Someone had told Megan about Jim’s promotion and it had filtered down to Jim’s nephews. They both wanted to let him know that they were proud of him. Had sent more pictures and told him about their A+ status in school. It truly had made his night.

The next day, William Ellison had stopped by with a letter from Jim’s Grandfather on his mother’s side. It had been found with the will and gave Jim half of his mother’s estate. The other half went to Steven. William had suggested liquidating the estate and splitting the moneys equally. Jim had agreed.

Jim’s portion of the money rounded out to over two hundred thousand and he immediately sunk it into the building he lived in. He bought the entire place, continued the lease with Collette’s and cleared out the apartments on his floor. There were only two others living there and they were rude and obnoxious to boot. Jim was all too happy to toss them out on their collective asses. Everyone on the second floor had been there for years and Jim offered to keep them there at a slightly lower rent. Just enough to pay for the taxes and utilities that could not be separated out. In that way, he insured that it was easy to maintain the building and have comfortable neighbors for as long as he could.

He felt Blair would have approved.

All of this left Jim with a large living space on the top floor and use of the roof any time he wished. He was meeting with an architect in the next few days to remodel the space into a large penthouse apartment. What he would do with all this space, he wasn’t sure. But one thing he was certain of, it was a lot quieter now.

o-O-o

September 24, 2008

*”Hey Jim, pick up the phone. You won’t believe what I just heard.”* Jim raced down the stairs from the bedroom to the main floor and snatched up the phone as he heard his brother’s voice.

“Steven, what’s up?”

Steven Ellison must have been smiling, it could be heard through the phone as he spoke. *”Hey, remember the house down the street from Dad’s... Mr. Tanderson?”*

Jim nodded as he answered, “Yeah I remember. It had that huge library on the first floor. Dad used to say if he ever redid the library at home, he would model it after that one.”

*”Yeah, well guess what?”* Steven sounded fairly excited to be sharing this with his brother and Jim felt the excitement tingle his spine. *”Tanderson is selling the house. Dad’s buying as much of the shelves as he can, but his library is too small and there are several sets of shelves left over. These would be great in the new floor plan for the penthouse, don’t you think?”*

Jim thought back over his plans for the huge floor space in the second half of the penthouse, it was easily two story and could accommodate several sections of the library shelving that he remembered had been in Tanderson’s house. “Yeah, Stevie, I see it. Tell dad to snatch it all up and I’ll pay it back.”

Steven laughed, *”Oh no, Jimmy. Call this a birthday present. I’m investing in these shelves along with Sally. Our choice, you don’t get a say!”*

And then he was gone, leaving Jim with a phone in his hand and a dopey grin on his face. After a moment, Jim hung up the phone, then turned it on again and dialed the number for his architect. “Hey, Tom, come over for dinner tonight. I think I have figured out what to do with that extra space...”

o-O-o

October 22, 2008

Colin sniffled once as Liam’s arm was gently manipulated to accommodate his cast. “Li, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you would fall off the roof!”

“Col, not your fault. I went up there.” Liam attempted to assure his brother even through clenched teeth as the nurse hit a particularly sore spot. Their Da stood to the side with Colin and soothed him lightly with a hand stroking his thick wavy curls.

“Neither of you should have been up there. But I think you have both learned a lesson here, yes?” Their Da was not one to punish wrong doing when the wrong doers had come out with a massive injury that gets the point across better than any corporal punishment ever could. Colin shuffled and rubbed his nose with the sleeve of his shirt. Liam caught the movement out of the corner of his eye and handed over an extra handkerchief. Da never said a word about the exchange.

Arriving at their city home, Da tucked both boys in to their bed and went to check the mail. Colin wrapped himself gently around his younger brother, snuffling into his dark straight hair and sighing contentedly. Da came back and found them in just this pose, his eyes bright with unshed tears.

Liam immediately sought to distract their father’s upset by calling attention to the mail in his hands. “What’s there Da?”

Da started suddenly and looked down at the envelope in his hands. “Oh, this... it’s a letter to you and Colin. Want me to read it to you?”

Liam smiled until he saw the post mark on the envelope, then he began to get nervous. Colin must have noticed the change in scent, as he started to whimper. Da stroked a hand down Colin’s back, but spoke to Liam. “Has he written you back before?”

Liam relaxed. Of course his father would have figured out that the boys were writing to their Uncle. And he wasn’t upset by it, so it must have been all right to do so. “That’s the first, actually. Mostly we write to him and send him pictures.”

Da smiled as he opened the envelope. The first words made him smile wider, bigger than Liam had ever seen.

*“To the Great Sentinel of New South Wales and his Great Shaman...”*

o-O-o

November 10, 2008

Jim rode the elevator to his floor and stepped out into the most heavenly scent. He hadn’t smelled anything like it in years. Only one person made this dish so perfectly, and even though Blair had tried over and over again, it was never quite right.

“Naomi!”

The powerful red-head almost literally floated out of Blair’s old room, her eyes shining as bright as her smile. “Jim! I’m glad you’re home, dinner will be ready in fifteen, I think you have time for a shower.”

“Ah, no, I’m fine, Naomi. I showered at the PD,” he answered as he went to open a bottle of white wine. Naomi shook her head and took the bottle out of his hands practically shoving him back towards the bathroom.

“Not your soap, not your water, not your towels. How bad is your skin twitching right now?”

Jim sighed, “Yeah ok. You’re right. I’ll deal with it now rather than later.”

After showering and eating, Jim sat back and could actually relax for the first time in weeks. Naomi sat with him in comfortable silence for a while, waiting. Jim smirked, “You know I always thought that Blair’s motor-mouth came from you.”

Naomi burst out laughing, “I was waiting for you. Jim, I know you value your silences at times.”

“Not anymore,” muttered the man as he stared down into his nearly empty glass. “Naomi, I made a big mistake.”

“Maybe, and most likely you are right. But what can you do about it now?” Naomi stood and began clearing the table, starting in on the dishes while Jim sat and thought. After a moment, Jim stood and helped his friend (couldn’t call her a guest for god’s sake) clean the kitchen and close the apartment down for the night. With a fresh glass of wine, Naomi began a slow tour of the apartment.

“You don’t spend that much time on this side, do you?” she asked as she fingered the drapes that covered the southern windows. Jim came to join her, leaning in close to add his warmth.

“I tend to stay on the northern side, I’ve lived there for so long, it felt natural.” He sipped his wine and left her to her thoughts. Finally she moved to the small bedroom under the stairs.

“I know you have work in the morning. The boys are very proud of you, by the way.” She smiled while he felt the blush creep up.

“Yeah, they wrote to me about it. Blair’s not angry with them is he?” Jim asked, suddenly concerned with causing trouble for his nephews.

“Why ever for, Jim? None of you did anything wrong. If anything, your acceptance of them as a part of Blair, simply added validation for Blair.” She headed in to the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Jim snagged the door and asked her one more question.

“Naomi, is he happy?”

She didn’t reply, only patted his arm and went to bed.

The next day Jim went to work while Naomi slept. He didn’t expect her to be there when he returned and, upon stepping off the elevator that night, knew she was long gone. A note left on his dining room table admonished him to go to the roof and he obeyed.

Just off from the doorway was a large greenhouse with plants hanging inside and outside, on the shelves and everywhere. It was a veritable garden of vegetables and herbs with a few fruit trees to add definition and color. Inside the dooron the potters’ shelf, he found several books on the caring and growth of the plants. And another note addressed to him.

*”Jim, sometimes it’s not so much about happiness and everything to do with responsibility. He loves those boys, he respects those women... he loves you.”*

Jim leaned heavily against the door frame as he read the note over and over again. He loved him. Blair loved him. That surprised him more than anything.

What didn’t surprise him was the understanding that he, Jim, loved Blair too.

o-O-o

December 8, 2008

*It was a horrendous crash, flames and fire reaching to the stars. Screams from within went unanswered and finally died out as the car was engulfed in minutes. From a distance, face pale in the moonlight, Blair looked back at him and cried out, “JIM!”*

He woke in a blind panic, his chest heaving and skin drenched in sweat. Gazing around the silent loft bedroom, his eyes caught sight of the clock. He read the time flashing red before him.

*0700.*

He had been up late covering a stakeout with his men. Finally finishing up the paperwork, he had come home only an hour before and had fallen into bed soon after striping himself of his clothing. Now he was wide awake and shivering as if someone had walked over his grave.

He divested himself of his soaking wet sheets and hurried down the stairs to his phone. He didn’t know why, but suddenly he needed to call, needed to hear his nephews’ voices. Needed to hear Blair.

The phone rang and rang. Finally, it was picked up by a rather frazzled Megan Conner.

*“Hullo?”*

“Conner, it’s Jim. Where’s Blair?”

A breathy sigh from across the line and then she was back, *”Look, Jimbo, I don’t have a lot of time right now. Blair and the boys are at the hospital now and I have to get over there right away.”*

Hospital? Oh gods... “Conner, who’s in the hospital, what’s going on?”

*”Gotta go, Jim. I’ll tell Blair you called. Oh hell, I hope they come out of this all right.”* She was gone a moment later and Jim was left with the dial tone. Snarling, he clicked it off and dumped it to the couch before storming up the stairs to his room and his clothes. Blair was in trouble, something was wrong and his Guide needed him. And he was across the damn ocean!

o-O-o

December 13, 2008

It took too long, way too long in Jim’s opinion, for him to get the desk covered and get a flight out to Sydney. But finally he was there. When he arrived, he called Megan again and was told that she was in the middle of preparations for the funeral. Jim’s heart nearly stopped.

The man he spoke to, Megan’s partner on the job, told him where the funeral was being held and gave Jim directions. Jim promised he would be there on time. After finding a place to have his dark suit pressed, he arrived at the gravesite in time to join the mourners.

Many of the people Jim knew nothing about. He recognized Megan; all decked out in her formal dress uniform. She stood tall and proud to a slightly shorter man with dark, curly hair who was wearing a pressed suit. Beside them stood two little boys, one with wavy hair and the other with straight hair. Jim let out a barely audible sigh of relief. The priest finished with his part and the Honor Guard fired their rounds. From this distance Jim could see that there were two caskets side by side, covered with flags. The flags were removed, folded, and handed off to the boys.

Jim held himself still, watching the proceedings with very little interest. His entire focus was on the three souls standing still as stone against the wind as the family, friends and well-wishers began to filter through and pass on their condolences. Eventually only four people remained. Megan was the first to turn away and caught Jim’s gaze. He smiled faintly and lifted his chin slightly.

“Colin,” he whispered. The reaction was instantaneous. Colin turned and was in his arms on the fly. Liam, who had felt his brother turn, raced after and was caught in the other arm. Jim hugged them both, nuzzling his nose against their warm necks and holding them as they sniffled and sobbed. He slowly set them down to stand on either side of him as Blair approached.

He was older, leaner, with more gray at his temples than Jim had even thought he would see. But his eyes were still bright, made more so by the tears that he struggled to hold back. One whispered word slipped from his lips, “Jim.”

Jim opened his arms out to his partner, who fell into them and clutched at him as if he would vanish into thin air. Wrapping his arms around the shaking shoulders, Jim turned and led the way back to his rental. Megan followed behind and helped him get the kids in the car. When they were settled, Jim drove them to his hotel and they were soon settled on the plush, comfortable couch.

The boys had shed their coats, ties and shoes upon entering and were soon napping on one couch. Jim and Blair curled up on the other. Blair laid his head on Jim’s shoulder as he half sat in Jim’s lap, at the big man’s insistence. Eventually, Jim began the questions.

“How?” he knew he didn’t need to elaborate. From the moment that Blair had stepped into his arms, they had fallen into synch once again.

“Car Bomb. They were on the way back home late at night.” Blair snuggled deeper into Jim’s embrace.

“Why?”

“Drug Cartel. Darleen was on loan to Narcotics. Bad guys figured her out.”

“They get caught?” Jim asked. Blair was beginning to doze in his friend’s arms, so comfortable and comforted was he.

“Don’t know, don’t care. Wasn’t my case, and I want nothing to do with it. Megan is taking care of it; it won’t fall through the cracks.” Blair leaned back to look Jim in the eye. “Do you think I’m being cold-hearted because I don’t want in on this one?”

Jim shook his head, “You have more important things to work out.”

They fell silent after that. Jim held Blair, and watched over the boys. He could tell they were all exhausted. Finally, just as Jim thought that Blair had fallen asleep, a whispered sigh came to his ear. “I can’t stay here, Jim.”

Of course. That’s why he had been working so tirelessly ever since the night of the awards ceremony. Step by step, bit by bit, Jim had been preparing for this moment. Still, there were some things that Jim was uncertain of. “What about work?”

Blair shrugged, “My boys are more important to me. Besides, I have my doctorate now and I’d rather get back into teaching.”

Jim raised his brows in surprise and Blair chuckled as he explained, “I wrote my dissertation on closed societies using the Australian police force as the model. I had more than enough information, you remember?”

“Yeah, I do... I know that Edwards is no longer the Chancellor at Rainier, so it should be easier to get a job teaching there.” Jim smiled as he made plans. Blair chuckled lightly against his chest.

“Jim, you make it sound like I’m coming back to live with you. You don’t have the room, I have extras now.”

Jim stroked the shoulder length curls, remembering their texture and scent as he soothed the tense body in his arms. “You are coming home with me. You, the boys... I have more than enough room now. Wait til you see the library, and the bedrooms, and the kitchen... OH and the garden your mom left upstairs. It’s all perfect.”

Sometime during this, Blair had fallen asleep. But Jim wasn’t upset. He would just wait until tomorrow, and tell Blair all about their new home. He would take his family back home; get the boys enrolled in school, get Blair set up as Professor Sandburg. He was being given a second chance.

He wasn’t going to make another mistake.

~end~